This is an awkward post to write but it is something that has been on my mind for the past few weeks. I have been pondering on why we are not seeing more young people come to know Jesus for themselves and why is it that a lot of church youth work today is comprised of young people only from church families?
I am starting to realise that one reason may be that we are not discipling as Jesus commanded us to. Is it that we actually are offering a selfish form of discipleship rather than an outward looking form?
What does selfish discipleship look like? It is when we focus our sole purpose on our relationship with God. All that matters is how I am doing in my journey of faith. It is when our worship is about ‘me’ not ‘us’; when we are so fearful of the world’s influence on our youth that we teach about separation from the world, not integration.
A few years ago I was leading a day for a group of youth leaders at a church and I asked them about what their hopes were for their young people. One leader said,”Whilst I know it is never going to be possible for any young person to share their faith at school, I would love them to know that it is ok to be a Christian.”
Right there was the reality of selfish discipleship: the understanding that a teenager would never want or be able to share their faith so let’s teach them being a Christian is fine as it is just you and God.
An often-used statement is, “what you win them with, you win them to”. If we tell young people that faith is all about you and God, and don’t talk about the expectation to reach out to others, then we can’t be surprised when they don’t.
So what should discipleship look like and what can we be doing differently?
In Matthew 22:37-39, Jesus tells us that the greatest commandments (i.e. how we should live) are to love God with all we have and to love our neighbours as ourselves. From this it is clear that we need to give our whole selves – our working, sleeping, resting, playing, fun-loving, physical, mental, emotional, relating selves – to loving God. This is not compartmentalised. This is our whole life, wherever we find ourselves, whatever the time.
As if that is not enough, we then have to pour this love out into our self esteem and into those around us. As we get closer to God, his love pours into our lives and there should be an overflow of love onto those around us.
When we combine this with the Great Commission in Matthew 28, it is clear that we are to take this love with us wherever we go, as we “go and make disciples of all nations”. It is clear that discipleship is centred around two core concepts: getting closer to God and telling others about him (whatever ‘telling’ might look like).
The question, therefore, is what do we need to do differently? I think we need to help our teenagers be looking for God in their daily lives, not just when they are at church or at youth group. Let’s encourage them to meet up informally, and when they do, to pray together as often as they can. Let’s get them reflecting on where they see God at work in their days, what God is doing in their surroundings and encouraging them to step into what God is doing rather than living their lives focused on their own expectations and priorities.
This is a massive mental shift for them. What if they went into each day not thinking, ‘what do I need to do today?’ but ‘what has God got in store for me today?’
Feeling daunted yet?! Here’s the killer punch: our young people are probably reflecting how they see us, as leaders, living out our faith. If we are not living for God in every moment we find ourselves, why should they? Inevitably, we will each reflect how we live and so if we are not sharing our faith with those around us, we will probably not place too much emphasis on this with our bible studies.
Let’s put an end to selfish discipleship. Yes, it is all about getting as close to God as we can, but we have to allow, and expect, that this intimacy will transform how we live and pour out onto those around us, so let’s raise the bar of expectation and look for what God is doing.
Maybe at your next team meeting this is where to start – with ourselves. How can we be more obedient to the great commandments and the great commission? What needs to change in our own lives? Then we can start to think about how do we actively encourage our teenagers to be living this kind of life-transforming, light-carrying life.